


Why Celestia Ludenburg should not have Tumblr

by orphan_account



Series: Stop junko 2k16 [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: No despair i guess, shitposting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-08-10 03:03:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7827847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The title says it all I am just surprised you are still reading this . </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Regret.png</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Celestia Ludenburg should not have Tumblr

The music is thumping against the walls and your ears. Currently you are wondering why you come to this house party, you're too good for it. Almost half the guests are passed out on the floor or hiding upstairs. Honestly the only thing good about this train wreck is that you can live blog it on tumblr for some notes. You would like to point out that you have 14 followers and all your posts have tons of notes. You put your phone down for a few seconds to look up at Togami who is across the room, he was the only tolerable person at this party, you did come with Saionji but you have hated her ever since she called your hair fake.

 

You turn to look at the piece of living, burning human garbage you call a friend and see she is trying to talk to you. But you also notice Togami go upstairs with people dressed in black cloaks behind him. You turn to Saionji.

"Do you think I should go do some investigation and live blogging?" Not that you cared for her opinion.

"What the actual **fuck**! You bitch ass whore, you said you were going to get me gummies and malk!" She screams at you. Normally you wouldn't address what she is saying but you just need to confirm something. 

"Malk? WHAT THE FUCK IS MALK YOU GREMLIN PIECE OF SHIT!?"  

"HOW FUCKING DUMB ARE YOU THAT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT MALK IS? YOU KNOW THAT WHITE LIQUID YOU EAT WITH CEREAL"  You press your fingers to your nose and breath in and out slowly. 

"Are you telling me....THAT NO ONE EVER TOLD YOU HOW TO PRONOUNCE MILK!?"   

"I KNOW HOW TO PRONOUNCE MALK!" 

"NO IT'S FUCKING MILK! NOT MALK, NOT MOLK, NOT MULK, NOT MELK  AND MOST DEFINITELY NOT MELK YOU FUCKING ABORTIONED PIECE OF SHIT! " 

"You say potato, I say potarto." 

"WHAT THE FUCK WHO THE FUCK SAYS PORTATO UGH GOD I AM LIVE BLOGGING THIS AND SHAMING YOU." 

You pull your phone up and open your tumblr app. You snap a picture of Saionji and start typing. 

**Oh my fucking god Saionji fucking pronounces milk as Malk. lmao haha**

****

**#bffs # she is so dumb # follow me # relatable #milk # making my way downtown # rip # awesomeness # tumblr # give me notes ;-; # i am deprived # vegan**

 

You press post and Saionji looks at your phone. 

"You know one of the reasons why you have 14 followers is because you tag your posts with dumb random shit." 

You don't need to be insulted you get up  and grab the closest person to you. 

"Oh listen here you piece of shit, you are now my cameraman and you snap photos of me whenever I do something so I upload it to tumblr." 

You only realise it is Fujisaki once she starts talking. 

"Um ok I'll try my best but what is a 'pieceofshit'?" 

"Oh my god, hand me my phone." 

You snap a picture of Fujisaki. 

 

**Oh my god this dumb bitch doesn't even know what a piece of shit is lmao smh rip**

**#dumb # jk # we good friends # my new cameraman # my new bff # imma go investigate at this lame party # follow me # my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard # we hate misogynists # feminism # girl power # byeeeeeeee**

 

 You press post and turn to face Fujisaki who is still confused. 

"Ok let's go!" 

"WAIT WHERE'S MY MALK YOU STUPID WHORE!" 

You stuff your hands in your pocket and throw old spare change at Saionji 

"BUY YOUR OWN FUCKING MILK GOD!" 

You leave the room with Fujisaki trailing behind you, climbing the stairs you realise why everyone came up here. It looks like someone gave everyone drugs, no one here was going to be useful. You decide to start opening random doors, the first door you open has Tsumiki behind it. She is shoveling a white powder up her nose via spoon. 

"Fujisaki snap a photo." 

 

**Oh my gee the ultimate nurse does drugs. She probably cuts her own hair too lmao**

**#rekt # exposed # dragged her # drugs # they are bad # oh my god she looks rabid now # i might die have to run now # byeeee**

 

I ran away as soon as possible and slammed the door. I was pretty sure Tsumiki worked with vampire rules so she won't leave unless we let her. I continue forth to door number 2 . Behind it was Pekoyama wearing some sort of children's mask. 

 

**The ultimate swordswoman cosplays. I am not surprised get a life loser.**

**#exposed # lame omg # follow me now # just kidding not actually dragging her sorry ass # lmao hahaha # rofl # WHY THE FUCK HAVEN'T YOU LIKED THIS POST YET #jk**

 

You decide to leave Pekoyama alone, you assume she works like Tsumiki does and close the door. 

"Um, Miss Ludenburg?" You hear Fujisaki talking behind you . 

"What the fuck is it?" 

"Uh, wouldn't it be more interesting to go out through that door over there, with the skulls and the blood and the- eek I change my mind that place is scary." 

"Too late we're going." 

"Wahaahahahahahaawaaaaaaaa!" 

 

You knock on the really cool door after realising you cannot open it. It gets open ajar and someone comes out once they realise who it is. 

 

"And what business  do you mortals have here with me the Great Gundham Tanaka!?" 

"I wanna go inside." 

"No." 

"WHAT THE FUCK, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK." 

"Leave before I vanquish you to another realm." 

"WHY CAN'T I GO INSIDE?" 

"No girls allowed." 

"YOU LISTEN HER-" 

"Byeeeeeeeeeee." 

The door slams shut in your face, you cannot believe this how could this happen to you. Celestia Ludenburg heir to the throne savior of worlds. 

You turn to Fujisaki. 

"Oh well looks like we shot go somewhere else huh." 

"No."

"What?" 

"I have a plan."  

** **

**On tumblr while Celeste was commencing her plan**

 

**Ya boi posted**

**Why the fuck am I not allowed in the cool door @Hopeboi**

**Hopeboi reblogged from Ya boi**

**Why the fuck am I not allowed in the cool door @Hopeboi**

**Honestly it isn't up to me to decide if trash like you is allowed in.**

 

 

 

**Hopeboi reblogged from Ya boi**

****

**Why are you doing this?**

 

 

**Beast master posted**

**@Ya boi**

**You are not entering the sacred clubhouse without the password, and even if you did have it no one would let you inside.**

 

 

**Ya boi posted**

**@Beast master**

**WHY THE FUCK NOT YOU LET KOMAEDA IN, YOU LET TOGAMI IN YOU EVEN LET SAIONJI IN AND  NO ONE LIKES HER.**

 

**I am better than you all posted**

**WHAT THE FUCK @Beast master I HEARD YOU LIKE THAT SEVEN NIPPLED LOLI SHOTA IN YOUR COOL ROOM BUT NOT ME HOW DARE YOU.**

 

**Baby_Gangsta posted**

**WHO THE FUCK CHANGED MY USERNAME**

 

**Ishimaru_Kiyotaka posted**

**INAPPROPRIATE SWEARING IS NOT WELCOMED ON THE DASHBOARD OF ISHIMARU KIYOTAKA**

 

**Baby_Gangsta posted**

**FUCK, FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKC UFKC FUFKC FUFKC FUCKC**

**Corn_boss posted**

****

**You guys made him cry.**

 

**Ya boi posted**

**If I can't get in no one can get in watch me I'll fucking bomb the entire house.**

 

**Beast master posted**

**@Ya boi, you aren't @Hopeboi and also you are hiding in the bathroom so no one is worried.**

 

 

**Back to celestia's thing**

 

"Ok Fujisaki now that you look like a guy get in there." 

Fujisaki nervously knocked on the door and this time someone else opened it. 

 

"Password... Hint it's stop Junko 2k16" 

"Stop Junko 2k16" 

"Cool by the way if anyone asks, my name if Tsumiki Mikan." 

"But your Kirigiri Kyoko" 

"Ok but if anyone asks say that name and you won't get into trouble, also now that you're hear watch the door I am leaving byeeee." 

"um byeeeeeeeee" 

 

Fujisaki let's you in . You see that the club house actually just leads to a burning tree house which has heads along the roof. Now you realise this is probably a cult soo. That's good you're surprised you have never noticed that tree house before.  

"Well enjoy yourself byeeeeeeee." Ugh.You feel a sharp pain in your head and as you fall to the ground. 

.... 

**While celeste was knocked out**

**Ya boi posted**

**HAHAHA, I POURED GASOLINE ALL OVER THE HOUSE AND NOW WATCH AS I THROW THIS LIGHTBULB INTO IT .**

 

**Baby_Gangsta posted**

**But if you are there to throw the lightbulb doesn't that mean you are in line of fire. Since I know you have no helicopter. @Ya boi**

**#Also DID YOU CHANGE MY FUCKING NAME**

**Ya boi posted**

**:|**

**#why did this happen to me # I tried so hard and got so far # fuck komaeda**

 

**Army girl posted**

**You know Ikusaba Mukuro, I heard she has a rock hard shredded eight pack. I saw in the locker room. Ikusaba is hot.**

 

**Baby_Gansta posted**

**@Army girl are you Ikusaba Mukuro ?**

 

**Army girl blocked Baby_Gangsta**

**Ya boi posted**

**OH SHIT OH FUCK I ACCIDENTLY THREW CHIAKI OFF THE ROOF AND SMASHED HER WITH TETRIS.**

**#WHY DID THIS HAPPEN # KOMAEDA THAT'S WHY**

 

**Hopeboi posted**

**@Ya boi so essentially you have killed Chiaki**

**Stop_Junko2k16 posted**

**@Ya boi mmm watcha saaaaaaaay**

 

**Tsumiki_Mikan posted**

**Omg celeste and fujisaki are inside the clubhouse and saw everything. Tots my fault.  @Stop_Junko2k16**

 

**Hopeboi posted**

**WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU**

**Baby_Gangsta posted**

**WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU**

**Beast master posted**

**WHO IN THE DEVILS JAW ARE YOU**

**Soda_rocket posted**

**Guys not to interrupt but there is a girl who was crushed by a tetris piece and her blood got everywhere and kind of ruined the party.**

**Swords...Mmm yeah posted**

**What happened?**

**Nurse_girl posted**

**Guys Kirigiri let Fujisaki and Celestia in and Celeste may or may not have already blogged it.**

 

 

**Baby_gangsta posted**

**Doesn't she only have like 14 followers**

**Hopeboi posted**

**Well I have good news Junko killed herself in one of Hinata's traps so our job is done...What do we do now.**

**Beast master posted**

**Let's burn Celeste and those others alive.**

**Soda_rocket posted**

**Um what**

**Baby_gangsta posted**

**Cool sure why the fuck not**

 

**\------**

"WHAT THE FUCK LET ME GO." 

"No. We're burning you alive." 

"Why?" 

"We're a cult that got bored after killing Junko enoshima." 

"THAT WAS LIKE FIVE SECONDS AGO I SAW IT ON TUMBLR." 

"ALSO YOU CAN'T KILL ME THIS IS MY STORY THIS IS MEANT TO BE GOOD FOR ME." 

 

"That is just mean."  

"Well uh byeeee" 

"ALSO THAT WEIRD FUCKING GOODBYE JUST SAY BYE NOT BYEEEEEEEE-AHHHHHHHH GOD THE PAIN I AM BURNING ALIVE OH GOD AHHH AHHHH AHHH AHHA H_" 

Random firetruck crushes her. 

"OH SHIT COME ON I WAS AIMING FOR YOU GUYS NOT CELESTE" 

"Hinata you just keep doing our job for us. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Why did I write this.  
> regret.png  
> I spent like 5 hours on this.


End file.
